Every Pakistani Wedding Event, Explained

A Pakistani wedding is not an event. It is a season. Depending on the family, the city and the budget, it can stretch from a single evening to a fortnight of functions. If you are building an invitation — or you have been handed one and are quietly unsure what you have been invited to — here is the full sequence.

Mangni — the engagement

The formal announcement. Rings are exchanged, sweets are distributed, and the two families meet properly if they have not already. Traditionally intimate, though Mangni functions have grown considerably in the last decade.

Dholki — the drumming nights

Named for the dholak, the double-headed drum. A series of informal evenings at home in the weeks before the wedding: singing, clapping, tea, and increasingly ambitious dance rehearsals. Almost never formally invited — a WhatsApp message to the cousins is the whole invitation process.

Mayun and Ubtan — the seclusion

The bride steps back from public life for a few days before the wedding. Ubtan, a turmeric paste, is applied by female relatives. Yellow is worn throughout. In many families the groom has a parallel function on his side the same evening.

Mehndi — the henna night

The loudest, most photographed function of the week. Two sides of the family, competitive dance performances, marigolds everywhere, and henna applied to the bride's hands and feet. Traditionally held separately by each family; increasingly held jointly.

• Dress code: yellow, green, orange. Say so on the invitation — guests want to get it right.
• Timing: starts late, ends later. Be honest about it.
• Guest list: the widest of the week, usually.

Nikah — the marriage contract

The religious ceremony and the legal heart of the wedding. The Nikah Nama is signed, the Ijab-e-Qubool is exchanged, and dua is offered. It can happen on its own day, or immediately before the Baraat.

Baraat — the groom's procession

The groom arrives with his family, friends and, if the family is inclined, a brass band. The bride's family hosts. This is the main reception in most families and the function with the tightest schedule, because the Rukhsati follows.

Rukhsati — the farewell

The bride leaves her parents' home. The Quran is held over her head as she walks out. It is the emotional centre of the entire week and, notably, never appears on an invitation — it simply happens at the end of the Baraat.

Valima — the groom's reception

Hosted by the groom's family, usually one to three days after the Nikah. Sunnah, celebratory, and generally the most formal function of the week. The guest list often differs from the Baraat's, which is exactly why DawatNama supports separate invitations that share the same couple.